A Great Visit - Family Doctor Referral

The family doctor's clinic visit was great. There's nothing like running into a younger (late 40s) immigrant doctor at my family doctor's clinic who's a really intelligent guy. We hit it off right away.

I wasn't sure how my "new age" thoughts would come across with the walk-in doctor I'd run into at the clinic. From experience and observation, other than some very elite top medical doctors, I find a lot of family physicians and a good bulk of specialist doctors (non-surgical), especially the older generation of Canadian doctors, to be self-righteous yet rather mediocre in intelligence and insight (the Canadian healthcare social structure puts them on too much of a pedestal and overprotects their privilege, which I will not go too deeply into on this blog). 

Luckily, when I went there on the morning of Saturday Sept 8th (my family doctor's clinic has walk-in Saturdays for extended service to compete with the increasing competition of family physicians in the GTA), Dr.M, the walk-in doctor working on that day, was a pleasant surprise. Amongst the senior patients he's been seeing the entire morning, I think my request was also a breathe of fresh air. 

Our conversation started like this:

"So what would you like to do today?"

"Wanna get a referral to one of these fertility clinic specialists at New Life," I said as I passed him the 4 business cards of the 4 specialists, "I'm thinking of freezing my eggs."

"Oh Really!" I could see Dr.M's eyes widen in surprise, "I think that's a great thing for you do to."

I was captivated by his enthusiasm for my plans.

"You think so?"

"Oh yes, of course! My daughter is 23 and I tell her this all the time, honey, think about freezing your eggs."

Dr.M was very knowledgeable and knew who was "good" (proficient) in the list of 4 doctors' business cards I gave him and enthusiastically put in a referral for him for me. Of course, he asked me what made me decide to do this.

I tell him I'm 27, the thought has been swirling in the back of my mind for a while. I told him about my desire to have the options possible, for me to be in control, when I want to rather than being subject to my own biological clock, like most young women who are thinking of freezing their eggs (not for medical reasons).

Dr.M says he deeply believes that I should take control of my own life, make my own decisions. Moreover, having a young adult daughter, he genuinely comes across as a physician who wants the best for the individual young woman.

"There are women in their 30s, I've seen, 36 year old women who get to that point that want family and children but has not found the right man and time is going by, and it's just painful to watch they try to settle for the wrong men, the desperation, big mistakes."

His opinion echos that of my thoughts. When people are highly vulnerable and anxious, it sets them up for desperate choices. With the undertone of anxiety and heightened emotions, the decisions they make are not always the most rational, not the best for themselves. They make bad decisions that they pay huge prices for years down the road. 

So that's where I am. I got my referral to Dr.D, a fertility specialist at my local New Life fertility clinic. I will follow up with the appoint next week and update.

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Finally, let me remember Dr.M by what he says.

"See, I think, real freedom to the women comes from when they can control their own fertility without the need to make unfair compromises to have a man."

When we have access to this possibility due to advance of medical science, simply by paying some money for it, it's scientific progress, it's social progress. 

I say, it's a good time to be alive. 

Dr.M agrees. (He think I'm very wise 😛)